Currently back in Long Beach, California after a week in my hometown of New York, visiting family, friends and celebrating the nuptials of my sorority pledge mom to her long time boyfriend.
It was a deliciously reveling shindig. Everyone dressed to the nines, brimming with smiles, drink and love. All of us dancing inside the gorgeous venue at a historic mansion. Reconnecting with college friends I haven’t seen in years. Moments like that made me realize just how lucky I am to be surrounded by friends and a community that held me during part of my journey. Especially now, as I’ve moved to SoCal by myself. My closest friend about an hour’s drive away. Making friends at the intensity of school days (seeing the same people at the same venue) reminds me much of hostel life while traveling. Living in the world where most people work 9 to 5s and are scattered throughout a large area doesn’t really help with the organic nature of making friends. Maybe that or I’m much more introverted nowadays. Or perhaps we can reframe it to being more focused.
I feel at home in SoCal. Free and creative. Yet at the same time I miss moments living in the comforts of my parents’ house, where there is a semblance of an unchanged world despite so much having shifted in these past two years. I have taken for granted the nightly family dinners, gathered around the table at the same time over home cooked meals, the free laundry, talks with mom and dad and seeing how my brothers are doing. I know it is impossible to stay rooted in their nest for too long but it does bring a sense of safety and comfort when I am there. A space for me to regress into moments of being someone’s child and not a 30 year old adult woman making her way in this world, sorting and sifting through the possibilities and choices of who and what her life will be. It’s a stark contrast to the solo life of living on my own in a new city.
As the year closes, I think about my intentions for this container. I originally felt that it would be a great source of my learned lessons from life and travel stories yet feel that it wants to expand much more beyond that as I rediscover enjoying photography, fashion and craft making. As a multi hyphenate creative, I find the blessings of having multiple passions yet also the task of focusing on something. The adage “all rivers lead to the ocean” come to mind. There can be many paths that will deliver the same destination…yet which one? With my hands in multiple pots, I feel I will find focus on the one that brings me the greatest joy, knowing that it may not be a ‘forever’ thing. Just a ‘for now’ thing.
That’s probably been one of the biggest shifts in my perspective. The ‘forever’ mentality of trying really hard to make something work has fallen away. And instead realizing, perhaps, not everything or everyone is meant to be part of forever. Just for now.
And remembering how much I enjoyed having photos that document my journey on my previous blogs, I find these Life Lately diary entries to be more fulfilling with some visuals. Enjoy.
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