On the precipice of closing out one decade and entering a new one, I like to spend the days leading up to my birth in reflection of the things I have learned and been blessed with.
In my early teens, I used to feel this ambitious excitement about my 20s. The Type A personality I had adopted created five and ten year plans, strict with achieving goals and missing out on what life was really offering. I had hit my benchmarks but I still felt unfulfilled in a way. In a way, I feel like I still am. Maybe this is one of the things that comes along with the human experience. That you will always have desires for more.
- Celebrate yourself and your accomplishments, small, large and everything in between.
- Give yourself grace and compassion. There may be times where you think you’ve learned a lesson and then slipped up again. We’re all human and perfection is an ideal that doesn’t exist.
- Be disciplined enough to know what you need to do but don’t punish yourself if you fall off the horse.
- Say ‘yes’ to new experiences. You’ll learn what you like/don’t like and open your mind.
- Doing nothing is and can be productive.
- Let out all of the strong emotions and feelings you have. Scream into a pillow. Belt out your favorite song while you’re driving. Dance wildly and unabashedly. Cackle at something funny. There are no wrong feelings.
- Hindsight is 20/20. No use beating up on yourself for something you find clarity on after the fact.
- You will have fears. Sit with them. Learn them. Then have the courage to act against them.
- Be aware of your own patterns before they keep repeating themselves.
- Know you are worthy of everything you want.
- Have more trust. In yourself. In others. In the world.
- Don’t listen to people (and perhaps your own thoughts) that tell you to be realistic. Delusion, imagination and hope are the strongest momentous forces in your dreams actualizing into real life.
- You will waste far more energy and time in getting people to change. Forget it. Focus on changing yourself and let go of needing others to be a certain way for you to be happy. If they want to change, they will.
- You can change places/people/jobs/situations but if you don’t change your habits/thoughts/self, everything will be the same.
- Your family will drive you crazy. Love them and appreciate them while they’re still here. Also discern where healthy boundaries are needed.
- You may want to fastfoward through the uncomfortable, boring, frustrating parts of life. When you look back, maybe you’ll realize that you miss the journey.
- Learn your self worth and treat yourself the way you know you should be treated. Don’t allow others to mistreat you either.
- Give yourself the space to pivot. You are allowed to change your mind.
- Go on a walk, especially when you don’t want to.
- Meditate more. And be consistent with it. A few minutes every day still count. It’s the practice of getting yourself to center before going about your day.
- Make something for the fun of it. Don’t worry about the mess or outcome.
- Focus less on the outcome and more on how you feel during the process. I’m learning more and more that the joy is in the journey. Especially in creation.
- Your world and universe will need things from you. Give at the capacity you can. Set boundaries when you need to. Fill your own cup first, otherwise you will be resentful.
- The best present you can give is presence. Full, undivided attention. Be more present in your life, wherever you are, whoever you are with.
- Know that there is right timing for everything. The reason you haven’t done the thing is because you know it isn’t the right time yet. Use these moments in between to get ready. Because when it comes, you’ll need to be on your A game.
- It’s okay not to know what you want or where you’re headed. But just like any journey, only the next step matters.
- Self awareness is important. Notice patterns repeating in your life and how they are serving you. This may reflect in the jobs you take, the situations you find yourself in, the people you date. I spoke with a friend today who noticed her history of dating alcoholics and how unhealthy that was for her. Noticing is the first step to change.
- Be more authentically you. There are times when I want to dress up, show up as a different person that who I told myself I was and felt too afraid. Dimming my own light. The right people will appreciate you. Those that don’t aren’t meant for you.
- Bring a pen with you everywhere. For those moments when you get an idea that is just too good to forget, need to take notes, write down an appointment or future event, feel anxious and need to brain dump or someone just happens to need a pen (and you can be their hero).
- Spending your entire day devoted to only things you like may not be realistic or accessible to everyone, but make time for it. If it’s really important to you, you’ll make the time. Excuses are enabling you from bringing your dreams to fruition.
A/N: I started writing this post early September 2022. It’s taken me almost 9 months to finish this. And with an impeding 31st birthday coming up, I figure no better time than now.
XO, JULIA
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