How do you overcome the guilt and anxiety and bad feelings that come when you want space? When you feel that certain relationships in your life no longer resonate with who you are in this moment?
Space in friendships. Space in relationships. Space to breathe. Space to grow.
How do you honor yourself and your needs without putting everyone else before yourself?
I have noticed as I move through my self journey, parts that were once important no longer seem to fit as well as they used to. Like a puzzle piece in the wrong box. I have an empathetic nature to me. I care deeply for others. I care so deeply for others that I figure if I shoulder their pain, it would help. It does for a little bit but then it turns into a co-dependent relationship, like a patient needing pain medication to numb the pain. The pain is still there and the relief is temporary and then the need for the medication soon comes.
How do you learn to say ‘No I don’t want to hang out and I still love you‘ to people that played important roles in certain stages? How do you move from the mindset that everyone you know is supposed to follow your entire journey?
It’s like hiking – sometimes there are trees for a large part of the journey, and then you end up somewhere at the top where the trees have disappeared and you’re left with this wide expanse of rock and air and clouds. The trees don’t lift their roots to come with you. They stay still, there for you and other travelers who pass by to love in another part of your journey.
I have found that it isn’t my responsibility to coddle my relationships. It’s not my responsibility for their feelings about my needs. It’s not my responsibility to shoulder their journey. That would be doing them a disservice.
Love isn’t always gentle. Sometimes love is standing your ground. Sometimes it is tough and tears and brings you this discomfort in your heart because you are doing something strange and different.
Sometimes love is letting go, like setting a bird free from its cage. You hold it close to your heart yet grant it its freedom.