Life has been an assortment of plans.
It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live— Marcus Aurelius.
Who am I and why am I here?
For starters, I am a few weeks into my 27th rotation around the sun, live in NYC and just informed my 9 to 5 that I will be transitioning away from my role.
In other words: I just quit my job. My full-time job with benefits, a 401k, luxurious time-off policy and most importantly, security. I texted my family, my partner, and a few friends after I got off the phone with my boss. Initially, I felt like I was on fire – I did a thing! I did it! Yay!
Then the doubts and concerns started to move in like thunderstorms on a hot summer’s evening – Did I make the right decision? What will I do without money? Should I text my boss “Just kidding!! Give me my job back”?
My family and friends texted me back, Are you sure? What’s your plan?
Surely not productive when doubt (internal or external) tries to trump your intuition. It’s a survival tactic but it’s not the only one – I have to trust myself. So when the feedback from others makes you feel better about your decision, even if you don’t agree with them, you are on the right path.
It feels strange – similar to how I felt when I got to drive a car for the first time. I am literally in control of my life and there is a gnawing in my gut. The security blanket is no longer something that I want to live under. There is a deeper longing that I feel the desire to satiate – fulfillment.
In purposeful action there is fulfillment and when there is fulfillment – there is joy.
I guess that’s the reason I am here – in the pursuit of joy. And to have joy, I must believe and trust in myself and my desires.
I hope to share writings and words that will inspire others who feel the same things I feel – that there is a general want for something more. I want to encourage others to pursue what is important to them.
Life has been an assortment of plans up until now. Time to start making some of my own.
Onwards and Upwards,
Photo by Samuel Zeller
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