It’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog. A few months have passed by and while seemingly nothing has changed, much has shifted internally.
After a bout of socializing, I’m noticing myself slowing down and returning to self. I’ve been spending more days at home, resting, relaxing and puttering about. I’ve been getting to tasks and projects that have fallen wayside with the amount of daily outings and it’s felt really nice to organize and prepare myself and my home.
This afternoon, I spent hours tending to the rose bush that I have had in a container for over a year and planted recently into the communal plot at the entrance of my apartment complex. I gingerly removed the thorns, noticing how mindful and intentional I had to move in order to not get pricked (but, alas, it happens). I pruned away some old growth and leggy branches, learning to let go and accept the removal of old for new.
Perhaps that’s a nice little microcosm of my life. To prepare myself, prune away old growth, slow down and become more intentional and more aware to make space for the new to come in. To accept the thorns that I have built up over the years to protect myself but, inevitably, to remove them in order to not hurt others.
The fullness of summer descends and the days have been unbearably hot and surprisingly humid. The only reprieve from the heat is to remain indoors or a sporadic jaunt to the beach. But even the beach doesn’t call to me anymore. Matters at home seem more important in this current season of life.
I’ve been organizing and decluttering and enjoying the simpler pleasures of domestic life. Preparing myself a lovely meal. Sitting on my computer and playing hours of the Sims 4 (connecting with that inner child of mine who absolutely loves building architecture). Taking naps and listening to music. I’ve been redefining what truly makes me happy. Saying ‘no’ to things that take more effort than I want to expend. Really listening to myself and easing into the discernment of what is aligned vs. am I saying ‘no’ out of fear? And even on the opposite end of that: saying ‘yes’ out of fear.
I’m about to turn 34 this year. Somehow this number makes me feel both youthful and old. Young because I feel that I still have so much life ahead of me. Old because maybe I thought I would have accomplished more by now? Should I have been married by now? Have had children by now? Started another business?
Again, letting go of what I think things should be and letting the road rise to meet me.
Anyways, just a check in on this part of my world. I foresee some upcoming writings dropping soon.
Hope you’re all well.
All my love,
Julia
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