integrating the snake shadow

I recently got a snake tattoo, something that seemed to be a spiritual symbol that’s shown up in my life. In the framework of the world, I’ve noticed that there are negative connotations and associations with the snake: slimy, slithery, cold, calculating and shifting. I find that my path has been walking through the valley of my own shadows: aspects of my personality, of society, of womanhood, that have been cast aside and forgotten to be suppressed for a more palatable version of being. That without my shadows, my light cannot exist. We forget that snakes are symbolisms of fertility, of rebirth, of shedding old versions of self and emerging anew. We forget that duality exists in everything. That, depending on perspective, I can be friendly and kind or jealous and manipulative. In truth, I am all of the above.

As a multifaceted perfectly imperfect human being, I’ve come to realize that polishing off a ready to digest version of myself feels inauthentic. That I am deep like the ocean, with monsters lurking in its depths. And I am also like the snake, waiting to strike at the perfect time. As I walk this path towards entrepreneurship, with the goal of conducting business the feminine way, it’s important for me to understand myself. All of the parts that have been too scary to witness. All of the yucky dark parts that I would rather not own up to. Because even if I don’t look, they’re all there.

I used to avoid the color black in my wardrobe. It didn’t seem to fit well. Lately, I’ve been relishing in wearing this color of the feminine: of power. It’s been a long time since I have felt comfortable expressing my authentic truth, even if it may not be what I or others want to hear. Even if me owning my power brings feelings of fear from myself and those who witness me because it reminds us of our own shadows, of our own repressed aspects of self. All the disowned personas. I find, perhaps, this is how I am cultivating deeper love for myself. That oath to unconditional love. 

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