JUST LIKE JULIA

I feel tired. Frustrated. Ornery. Annoyed. Impatient.

At the same time, I know there is so much goodness and blessings in my life.

It seems as if my latest challenge is in bridging the gap between these two: feeling and knowing. I find I am in the process of forging a connecting between the heart and the mind. The feeling and the knowing.

What is their common denominator? How do I pave a road between these two organs that are vital to our existence and our daily functionings?

Rewiring the brain to match the underpinnings and stirrings of the heart feels like upgrading a computer system after years of leaving it unattended to.

Each breath I take feels like I am exhaling like a wild stallion that’s attempting to be tamed: wanting to run free and out of the fences that surrounds it. It feels as if my defiance and rebellious spirit wants to throw something, scream into a pillow, beat the ground. Something to channel this energy out. Yet I feel that it’s a temporary fix, like putting a bucket under a leaky pipe. I need to find the root of this and tend to it, mending years of neglect.

Perhaps that’s the secret to living a life that you are utterly in love with.